out in the open

We're on the last day of January and I'm fine!!  This post is probably going to be all over the place, but I just want to hit some of the points that I mentioned in my last post as an update. Getting adjusted to my new schedule has been more difficult than not, for both school and work.  I wish I could be taking more classes though, I feel like I'm so far behind my friends.  I also feel super unproductive, but that could partly be because Hayden reminds me. I want to work out.  I don't know where my motivation is, but it's not there.  I'm worried I'm getting fat, which doesn't make a lot of sense since I barely eat.  But I guess when I do eat, it's usually junk.  I know working out would be great!  There really aren't any drawbacks to me doing it, I just haven't.  I feel like it's partly because I don't know what I'm doing.  I love running! It makes me feel good and you can't really screw that up.  But lifting and working ...

My greatest weaknesses are overthinking and insecurity with myself.  I write this on a night after many nights of not enough sleep.  My weaknesses are in hyper drive and I need to somehow find a release, so here's hoping. I am in a new relationship of one week and one day.  We've been kind of seeing each other for a few months before this.  He's a guy who's just about as honest as it gets (or at least as honest as I've ever seen).  He's really like no other guy to me.  And I am so confused. To make this as simple as possible, I'm going to create a pros and cons list about my feelings, as cliche as that is.  It's the easiest way for me to compare and reflect on. Pros: I feel like I can be myself around him and I don't have to change my beliefs and values to fit his with jackson, I was constantly in the wrong and I needed to change myself I feel like I'm much more independent than my last relationship where it was all dependency-- some...